Why is wellness so hard? We want to be happier and healthier – to be well. Our intentions are good. “I’m going to lose weight, eat better, reduce stress, work harder, spend more time with loved ones, be a better friend, write a book, and save the world. Starting today.” A few weeks later the push to change everything NOW can become totally demoralizing, full of self-blame and guilt because of not doing what was intended, or not doing it well enough.
Wellness is hard because we make it hard. WE THINK TO MUCH.
We expect wellness to be hard, so we get what we expect. We’ve been culturally conditioned to believe that it will be, mostly from people who want to make money from our pain. Then our human brains take over, telling us what we SHOULD do and then blocking us from doing it. We end up trapped in a cycle of good intentions, guilt, and giving up. It’s no wonder it’s hard to be happier and healthier. If it’s feeling hard to you, it will be easier if you don’t think so much.
Signs of thinking too much?
- You’re SHOULDING yourself to death. If your motivation is based on SHOULD, ask yourself, “Who says I should do this? What about it matters to me?” If you can’t find a way it matters, consider letting it go.
- Your inner critic has taken over. “I don’t have the time, money, energy or whatever, and why bother because I’ll fail anyway, people will laugh, etc.” are all voices of your inner critic, who is trying to protect you by keeping you from doing something new, even if it’s good for you. If it’s dramatic an emotional, your critic may be running the show. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” If it’s not, what do you gain by believing it?
- You believe it is selfish and wrong to make your own needs a priority. Would you deny the people you love permission to take care of themselves? You must have both giving and receiving to be well. If you feel depressed, tired and run down all the time, your body is telling you it needs some care.
- You don’t celebrate your progress. Every single teeny tiny step you take is success because it is progress. I can’t say this enough. Going from 3 to 3.5 is a success. Trying and failing and trying again is a success. Thinking about changing is a success. Starting and then changing direction is as success. Celebrating each small step will keep you motivated for the long term.
If you SHOULD but you aren’t; you started and then you stopped; you want to but believe you can’t; and you would if you could just find the time, money or energy; it’s time to leave the mind chatter behind. Make your life happier and healthier by not thinking so much. I promise it will be so much easier, and a lot more fun. Need some help? Let’s talk about it. Email me at Paula@WhatsNextForMyLife.com.