When Cancer Treatment Ends “Normal” Isn’t Normal Anymore.

How do you know where to focus your energy when cancer treatment ends?

Listen to me talk about creating a New Normal life when cancer treatment ends here.

During cancer treatment, my holy grail was getting to the end. Multiple surgeries and rounds of chemo later, the magic day finally arrived. Everyone was so thrilled that I was “done” with cancer. My life could go back to “normal”.

Guess what? Doing what my doctors told me and fighting cancer had become my “normal” life.

I was bald, weighed 95 pounds, and had lots of scars. My stamina and memory were shot. I was afraid the cancer had spread or would come back. I was still fatigued from chemo but needed to work. I felt frustrated because I couldn’t do everything I could before.  Confused because things I used to care about didn’t seem so important. Guilty because I wasn’t just grateful to be alive.  And ashamed that unhealthy choices from my old life that made me sick weren’t easy to change.

Go back to what? “Normal” had never seemed so chaotic, scary or uncomfortable.

Believe it or not, many survivors report “My life doesn’t feel the same or fit me anymore” emotions when their treatment ends. It’s a common, normal, natural human response in the emotional stages of cancer.

What happens next? We go forward, because we can’t really go back. We take stock. Many of our old priorities and activities have faded into the background during “Battle Cancer.” Our relationships with ourselves and others have been tested. Time becomes more precious as the adrenaline of battling the disease subsides,. We begin to let go of things that now feel trivial and feel compelled to make the things that matter most to us a priority. We think about the legacy of who we want to be and what we want to leave behind.

Close your eyes and breathe. Imagine your 100^th birthday party. All of your family, friends, colleagues and loved ones are gathered to celebrate you and your life. They’re telling stories and speaking of the difference you have made in their lives. Bask in their approval. What do they say?

• What words did they (or do you) use that make you proud?
• What parts of your life have been the most joyful?
• What’s important about the legacy you leave?

These questions hold the clues to the foundation of your New Normal life and let you know what matters most to you. I challenge you to find one way to live your legacy today.

Quote: “It doesn’t go back to the life you had before cancer. There are some things that may never be the same. It is really a new life and you have to accept that. Looking at it as an opportunity to make changes and grow is a good thing, but can be very hard. Emotionally, there can be a grieving process. Again, you have to accept that to really move on from Cancer. You have changed, a part of you may no longer be there, some activities may no longer be available to you. That deserves some grieving. Accept it, work through it, and move on.” – John, age 48, 2-year testicular cancer survivor

This is an excerpt from my What’s Next When Cancer Treatment Ends? LifeBook, coming out August 2011. For more info visit my site.