Flying Without A Net

I’ve never been afraid of speaking in public before.

But as I picked up the microphone, it felt like I was in the open door of an airplane at 30,000 ft without a parachute, getting ready to jump. Heart pounding, stomach churning, breathing to keep the anxiety at bay, scared and realizing it was too late to back out.

Scarier than chemo, childbirth, and my ex-mother in law all rolled into one. 

Standing up in front of a group of cancer patients, survivors, and oncology professionals, without a prepared speech or plan. Trusting that my skill and intuition were more important than a presentation and a pre-planned message.

“You’re insane,” my inner voice screamed. “How can you possibly consider going in front of a room full of people and talking for an hour with out preparing?! You’re a professional life coach – you’re supposed to be prepared. This hospital is counting on you to make a difference for their patients. What if you fail? What if people hate you? Your business will be ruined and you’ll be a laughingstock.”

“I can’t not do it,” I argued back. “I’m tired of always having to be prepared and worrying about not being good enough. It’s draining, boring, lifeless, and NO FUN.”

“Well, fine then,” my inner critic snarled. “You’ll be sorry.” I responded, “No, you’ll be surprised.”

Then I opened my mouth and jumped.

An hour later, my presentation was over. I can’t tell you for sure what I said. But I knew that it had worked. The audience was engaged. They had lots of questions. They were comparing their own experiences among themselves. I was ecstatic.

I’m not sure why I made the leap on this day, but I know my higher power had a hand in it. Maybe I was tired of over thinking everything; second guessing my intuition and ideas; staying safe in the box of how I’ve always done things.

Whenever I’m facing an idea that seems scary, crazy, ridiculous, I remind myself of that day. I ask myself what I would do if I couldn’t put it off. If I knew my time was up and this was my last chance. And then I jump, and feel the exhilaration of the unknown overriding the fear of the leaving the box. And I love it!

What would it be like to jump out of your box and fly? Give it a try and you’ll realize that the fear was false, and being alive is real. Why wait?

What boxes have you left behind in your life? Share your story with us!